Personal Development Work

Do You Like It Hard And Fast? You Might Want to Reconsider.


Hey y’all!

It’s your girl Evelyn, and today I thought I’d share some life advice that’s about as UNSEXY as life advice can get.



If you sang that in your head, I love you.

Or as my boy, Voltaire so eloquently put it:

“The best is the enemy of good.”

Look, I already know ain’t nobody trying to hear that noise.

We all want to be the best.


We want to take the quickest, most difficult path to get there so we can brag to our haters, feel like we earned it.

We want to double down on the “hashtag grind” and take “hashtag no days off” on our way to becoming the greatest of all time.


Well, because it’s cool, obviously.


We want Gary V to yell at us for not working every single weekend.

We want Tony Robbins to tell us that if we’re not hungry 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we might as well quit now.

We want Tim Ferriss to give us the ultimate work hack that will transform us into perfectly efficient machines who NEVER waste time and can fit 40 hours of work into 4.

And then we want to take everything we’ve learned and after about 6 months or so, mold ourselves into:


Beyoncé performing at Coachella in 2018.

That’s right. That’s EVERYONE’S end game.

I mean who doesn’t want to be Beyoncé performing at Coachella in 2018?

No one. That’s who.

And although it doesn’t seem like it, this “all or nothing” way of thinking is extremely seductive and super destructive.

If you get this reference, we’re probably soul mates.


Moderation? Who invited her to the party?

No, thank you.

If you need me, I’ll be over in the corner drunkenly making out with Work Until I Collapse and flipping the bird to Slow Down Before You Kill Yourself This Pace Is Unsustainable, Evelyn.

I mean, what a buzz kill! Who needs that kind of negativity?

Am I right?

No, no I am not right.

You, probably: It certainly is taking you a long time to get to the point of this blog post. Assuming there is a point.

Me: What was that? You want me to hit you with a dope ass example?

You, probably: That is not what I said at all.

Me: Well mister, you’re in luck!

You, probably: 

Me: Exactly!


Road trip time!

Y’all these are my ACTUAL feet!! Lol, no they’re not. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I lie so much.

Alright, so let’s say you live in New York and your best friend lives in Florida and you’re all like,

“Hey best friend, I’m going to visit you and I’m going to drive there instead of flying for some reason.”

Obviously, you would drive 100 mph the entire way there and not stop at all. For any reason. Not even for gas.

Surely you’ll get there in no time!



But what you will get is into a horrific accident or pulled over by the cops or you’ll just run out of gas before you even make it out of New York.

In fact, if you did those things, you’d never get out of New York.

Sure, you’d make great time…at first.

Y’all, there’s a reason why sprinters don’t run Marathons.

They would die.



Would you rather get 3 C’s and a B?

Or would you rather get 3 F’s and an A?

You, probably: I’m 41

Me: Aww, don’t be so down on yourself.

You, probably: That’s…not what I meant.


Most folks would choose 3 C’s and a B, which makes sense.

The average is higher.

Sure, it’s cool to get an A, but when you average it with the 3 F’s, it doesn’t matter.


Working out twice a week for a year > Working out six times a week for a month

Writing 300 words every day for a year > Writing 1,000 words every day for two months

Eating healthy meals 4x’s a week for a year > Eating healthy meals every single day for 4 months

My boy Voltaire, really knew his shit, huh?

I low key feel like Voltaire was a snack back in his day.


Look y’all

I don’t want you to go home and tell your mommy that Evelyn told you not to follow your dreams and strive for greatness and so on and so forth.

You, probably: SighI’m still 41.


The path to success doesn’t look like what most people think it looks like.

It’s chock full of people on diets eating doughnuts, and skipping their gym sessions.

It’s folks who only write 500 words when they’re supposed to write 1,000.

It’s not perfection. Not even close.

It’s something harder than perfection.

It’s screwing up.

A lot.

But NEVER stopping.

It’s about hitting 7 out of 10 for YEARS and not 10 out of 10 for MONTHS

It’s about sustainability.

Because sometimes you gotta stop and put some damn gas in the tank.

evelyn dar













6 replies on “Do You Like It Hard And Fast? You Might Want to Reconsider.”

You have a point. Ive been stressing over wanting to finish a novel lately but I cant rush it. It takes time. Working on it a not at a time would be more useful than pounding out 1k words then getting stressed and not writing for 3 months xD

I loved that ending though.
“Because sometimes you gotta stop and put some damn gas in the tank”


And yes, I do the same thing. I think “omg I should be so much further along than this” then I’ll kick it into high gear for a few weeks, burn out and not do anything for months. So counter productive 🙄

It’s nice to know I’m not the only one tho lol

That’s how I feel! ;o;!!! Like, i see all these amazing authors and books and I wanna get there too but then the struggle hits me and I crumble lol Will we ever get there?

And there is a bit of solace in knowing i’m not the only one. Maybe we vow together to work a bit on our books each day and keep each other motivated 🙂

I get you! I relate to this post so much. When I feel like I need to be at 100% all the time and that was destructive. I realized that when I just relaxed and didn’t stress over what I didn’t get done, I actually became more productive.

Yes! I think the key is to let go of the need for perfection.

Nothing is perfect. Things don’t always go according to plan. We are not machines and sometimes we just don’t feel like doing shit.

I had to give myself permission to RELAX.

Tbh I’m still working on it lol

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